I’ve been lazy to update.

Nothing much has been going on. Just school. I haven’t worked for a while which is getting me stressed out especially since the holidays are just around the corner.

Things on my mind, but I can’t think… I don’t like Tuesday because of class and then when I get home I’m pretty much alone for the rest of the day, unless lover comes which rarely happens. Either its home, friends, or bowling that wins. Well at least it’s Wednesday tomorrow. Usually I go see lover, but never mind about that for once.. I have to make up bowling and will meet with an old friend possibly. I’m looking forward to Saturday, I’m debating if I will go over to lover’s grandpa’s place and watch it with him and the family or go with my friend to someone’s house to watch, eat, and drink?  I have no clue. Most likely I’ll be with my lover because I’m a sucker for him and would usually choose to be with him than anyone else…

Ugh..

I just came back from a wedding. My feet are throbbing like hell. Overall the wedding was wonderful. The bride looked so beautiful and the groom looked very handsome. I’m happy for both my Kuya Hywel and Ate Monette.

My family and I left after the bride and the groom threw the bouquet and garter. Guess who caught the bouquet? I DID! So there I was sitting on a nice chair in front of everyone while Kuya Hywel’s brother but the garter on my wrist. It was the funniest thing. . .

So then we left. There I was holding on to the bouquet while walking out. I looked at it and it made me think about what I want for my wedding. My theme colors will probably be a combination of peach and orange. And all the decor will follow with the color scheme. For the father daughter dance, the song I want, which my dad already knows, is Sing Me Your Song Again Daddy by Jose Mari Chan ft. Cherie Gil. It is my favorite song that my dad and I would sing together when we karaoke at home.

There’s lots to think about, where to have the wedding, the reception, invitations (and I want it to look extra pretty), flowers, the dresses, the suits, who is in the wedding entourage, etc. All I know is that my sister will be my maid of honor and my two cousins Mykka & Ate Tin with be my bride’s maids.

And the big question that needs to be answered is… who will be my husband to be?

So let us talk about relationships. Or at least my relationships with people.

I feel like this year is where a lot of relationships have developed and also a few that has started over. I’ve just came to realize that. Last year was a pretty rough year, and also the year before that where mainly my relationships with people were affected.

My relationship with my lover has developed this past year. He’s a patient fellow which makes things a whole lot easier. The experiences that we went through together has brought us closer than before. I’m really happy with him. We have our ups and downs like any couples, it doesn’t take us that long to finally make up and kiss On my part, I’m more of a pain in the ass than he is. Things get to me more than it gets to him. But I’m still here.

My relationship with my lover’s family is also developing. I’m pretty comfortable with them unless I have to meet new ones in great big packs. I always enjoy my time with them and I also feel welcomed by them.

There’s also one person I can’t forget. Whenever I need someone to talk to, I could always turn to this certain friend for advice. Since he’s older, he’s had experiences that I feel I could learn from. But he’s there to listen and to give honest judgments.  But he’s also an awesome person to hang out with. There’s not one boring moment whenever we hang out or talk.

I’ve recently started my friendship over with someone who I considered a sister. We’ve been through a lot but at one point, we thought it was the end. But script has flipped. Things were mentioned. Forgiveness wanted.  A friendship being mended. We want to gain each other’s trust and be at that point where we called each other sister.

There’s only a few people who knows what I’ve been through 2 years ago. I still haven’t fully recovered because things changed in a way I never wanted it to. I felt like I could never trust family again. Especially a certain uncle who I trusted so much and was closer to than any of my other relatives, only because I was at his house like almost every weekend before. Or him and the kids coming over. I thought I’d never want to talk to him again. But my mind changed. I don’t want to leave my doors closed, so here I am with an open heart. I’ve talked to him recently through Facebook. It started off as him adding me as his friend.. there’s a baby step, which tells me he hasn’t completely forgotten me. He left me a comment asking how I am, where am I starting school, and invited me to his Halloween party. And most importantly, asked how my parents are doing.  I recently had a conversation with him. We’re both taking little steps at a time…definitely starting over. I hope things will change to the way he and I want it..but it will take some time to get there. But as long as we get there.. that’s all that matters.

I hope this year, is a good year. So far it has been. . .