February 8, 2010
I have shit on my mind and I don’t where to begin.
Well for one thing I just finished my 3rd term with an A! I’m getting close to finishing this nursing program and I’m very excited. It will be one of my biggest accomplishment in life so far. And when that happens, I really need to give myself a pat on my back for sticking to path and not deviating away from it and for not giving up when shit got really difficult. I’m starting to plan out what I should do when I get my license thanks to some of the nurses from my clinical site. They explained to me different routes I could take when I pass my boards. Thank God for them. I really think I’ll end up in Burbank by the end of this year working in this sub acute that is linked to a hospital. The hospital is key to my career goal… which is yet to be determined.
I’m going to go through so many changes this year, exciting changes 
Super excited could I tell you! Obviously one good change this is year is me being single. At the time I transitioned from being in a relationship to being single, I thought it wasn’t. But after really thinking about it, it was a good choice that I made. I have more time for myself. Go on a path of self realization. Help me figure out exactly what I want in life. Concentrate more on myself and school (not like I don’t do that already, but still). It was just a beneficial choice for me.
Another one is that I’m getting my own car. Finally. Even tho I don’t work that much, I’m still able to shit out money. I’m just going to be tight on money but it’s worth it. So that means I’d have to sacrifice. I can’t do all those fun things that I’d like to. But I’ll have my chance to do that when I’m done with this program and pass my boards. People need to sacrifice once in a while. It’s my time to do that right now since so much was sacrificed for me.
All the other changes will happen when I’m making that money as a new nurse graduate. Like I said earlier, I’m so excited.
… Anyways there is more to my mind than this. I mentioned earlier in this post that being single is a good choice and change for me. At the same time I hate being single because it has it’s downsides for me and probably for a lot of people as well. I really don’t want to be a heartbreaker. I don’t want anyone falling for me, just not yet. I’m just too nice and I don’t want my “niceness” to be mistaken for anything else. I’m not ready to jump into anything because I still have “him” come and go in my mind. I really just want him out of my head for good (at least that’s what I want for right now). Don’t get me wrong, I’m not thinking about him in that sense because I want to get back.. more like those what if statements. I shouldn’t even think about it but it’s hard. You know? And it’s funny today is his birthday. I’m contemplating if I should even greet him happy birthday. But since I’m a nice girl from what people say.. I most likely will. Argh.
Even through all of this.. I’m still happy. I’m feeling better than I was before. I’m so glad that I’m back at this state. Just makes me appreciate everything thats around me.. so much more.