Simply Jic

It’s 7:05AM. I’m really tired. I didn’t get that much sleep last night. Too much things going on in my head which makes my eyes want to stay open. I don’t know how I’m feeling this morning. I guess you could say mixed emotions. I am confused. I don’t know what to do. I’m really just waiting for this week to end. I want to kick back and relax. I haven’t done that in a while. I’m always doing things especially this week that school started. I wore my self down Monday and Tuesday to the point where it was hard for me to even function at work. Wednesday I thought would be my chill day with sweetie as usual where I could relax, take a time off from my busy life of school and work and be with him. Of course, that doesn’t happen.

So today is Thursday, another busy day. I have school from 8AM to 2PM. I have to walk to the auto shop after school to pick up my car. Then I’ll go and pick up my cousin Jan, freshen up at my house, pick up my cousin Christian, then head to the volleyball game where my sweetie coaches. Then meet up with Mel and Aizzy to purchase tickets for Halloween Horror Nights for this Saturday. I don’t even know if I want to go anymore…

Anyways, Friday NOW is what I’ll be looking forward to most of the time. It’s my bowling league but I have a lot of friends there that are fun to be around. And after that we usually chill at a coffee shop or boba place and talk.

I’ll be heading to school now. Have a nice day everyone. Ciao.

“Maybe you’re just too scared that someone might actually want to be with you…Because then you wouldn’t be able to hide behind your books, or your frickin’ telescope, or your faith. No, no, you know the real reason why you’re scared? It’s cause you wanna be with me too. ” - Langdon from A Walk to Remember

I remember that night. We’re laying down on the couch together. You were holding me in your arms where security and warmth surrounded me. You watched one of my favorite movies with me. One of the movies that I watch over and over again. And when we both heard those words come from Langdon’s mouth, you said to me “that sounds like a person I know.” I admit, I was scared. I was afraid of falling in love again, especially to someone I haven’t known for that long. You didn’t know me that well, my life, my history, what I wanted in life. All you knew of me was that girl who likes bowling, who is sweet, nice, and loves having fun. And I wonder why? Why me? And I thought it was too soon. I broke up with someone who I thought I’d be with for a long time. But I only found that he wasn’t for me. He couldn’t handle the way I was and it made me unhappy…

…But then I got to know you. We have common grounds which makes our evolving relationship easier. But there was more to it than common grounds. You’re a fun guy, a goof ball, a kid at heart (which I totally love), you have goals in life that you’re working to achieve, and patient. We were totally compatible, everyone saw it. We clicked like no other. It totally surprised me. Gradually my fear of being with someone disappeared because I fell in love with you.

So it’s been a year and a day, and I still get the tingles in my tummy when I get to see you.

Ok, so I haven’t blogged in over a month. I guess right now I just feel like venting. So the top most thing that is on my mind is family. Not mine, my lover’s. Could I tell you, he has a big ass family to the point where I tend to get overwhelmed when I meet them in packs. But I really admire his family because they are really close to where it amazes me. His aunt passed away last night, which breaks my heart because it’s another loss for this summer to him and his family. At times like this, I see his family come together in prayer with a strong heart.

In July his other aunt passed away, I went to her house everyday for a week after she passed away to prayer with his family. The first night I came home, I cried to my mom because I don’t know what it feels like to have family like that because they pretty much disowned us 2 years ago when my grandma died. I think that was the hardest death for me to go through because of what happened after her death. I haven’t fully moved on from it yet.

Family is suppose to be there for you, for you to count on in times of need. I see that in his, I want that in mine.

Okay, summer is almost done. Well it technically ends on Labor Day or the after. Today was the first time I went to the beach this summer. I had a blast boogie boarding with my good friend, Melinda. But we were pretty bummed out that our lovers couldn’t go with us because of work. I haven’t had a beach day with my lover ever. So that’s why I was bummed. But overall I had an awesome time. It could have been a tad better if it wasn’t for someone leaving her child for me and mel to watch. Oh well. I’m pretty tired. I’ve had an mentally exhausting week because I miss the boyfriend. We don’t spend a lot of one on one time with each other. He has a lot of responsibilities: 2 jobs and school is starting this week. I told him that having a relationship is also a responsibility that really needs to be taken care of. He needs to learn how to balance all of that at once. He’s tiring himself out which doesn’t help so much…

I’m the type of girlfriend who doesn’t ask for much in return. Except for a day or two out of the week just us hanging out. I don’t ask him to buy stuff for me because I’m not high maintenance. And I don’t want to be.

Our one year is coming up and he is planning to buy me an electronic book. Expensive can I tell you. I’m thinking about telling him that he doesn’t have to buy me one since it costs so much and just to save that money for a rainy day for himself. All I want for our one year is just to have a nice outing that ends with a nice dinner (which doesn’t have to be all high end).

Anyways, I’m getting a bit tired. I’m gonna go watch Honey and make myself all jealous because my lover thinks that Jessica Alba is hotter than me. Ha. Whatever. I know lot of male actors who are so fucking hot..

I watched a Cinderella Story earlier at Melinda’s house and drooled over Chad Michael Murray in front of the lover.

Well the week is almost over. Didn’t do much as usual but work. The high light of my week is hanging out with Jen and Paul. That’s about it. I have to send in paper work for the LVN program that I applied for. I still have time. I don’t start school until mid-October. Awesome.