The year is finally ending. I’m starting the New Year with a new beginning for myself.

I wish everyone a healthy happy wonderful New Year. Make the best of it.

I love my friends. They are just so awesome, especially Abby. We’ve been through so much shit together it’s crazy. I consider her one of the closest people to me, besides my parents. My parents, her and my bestie are the closest people in my life right now. I love them! I don’t know what I would do without them. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

I’m fairly exhausted. This year’s holiday seems quite tiring to me, physically and mentally. All the late minute Christmas shopping and all the preparation. Christmas day I was so tired, I literally hibernated like a bear throughout the whole day.

But, Christmas this year was worth it. I love seeing people happy. I will say that I was happy. I was happy because I was surrounded by people who loved me very much, and that is all that I could ever ask for. Yet it was still a bit difficult. Unexpected things happen. And I got an unexpected call. A call that would change me in a way. But that call also affected my family, mainly my mother and aunt. The call brought them back to an unbearable event for them, and so, there was a bit chaos during the early hours of Christmas Day. So much tension. I just wanted to slip away. And I did, I remained on the other line talking to that person til 5AM. Now everything that happened during that event makes sense to me. I just hope that one day it will make sense to others. I sometimes wish people could be bit more understanding.

…On another note…I haven’t seen my boyfriend for a week now. I’ve been feeling a bit numb to the situation. I’m neither sad nor mad. To my surprise, I’ve been pulling through. All this time I’ve been thinking. About what I want, sacrifices I’m willing to take, the risk of my heart being shattered in the end, or just simply leaving . Throughout all of this thinking, I came to realize of what an independent person I am, how I don’t need him, how I only want him.

When you love someone, you believe that they are your whole world. I do love him. Don’t get me wrong. Or else I wouldn’t be here going through this “break” that he requested. But to me, he’s not my whole world. He’s only a piece of that world.

Let us see what the new year has in store for me. Whatever happens, I know there will always be a reason.

Point blank, what a dick move.

Like honestly, that comment “I’m not surprised lol” to the complicated relationship status that Brock and I have doesn’t help the situation. It was really out of line. Plus this person doesn’t know Brock and mine’s relationship. He doesn’t know me. And it’s embarrassing to see that comment on facebook because EVERYONE that Brock and I know will see it…

He doesn’t know the shit I do for Brock. When times were tough for him and his family, I tried to be there all the way. When Brock didn’t have a car for some time, I’m there driving to see him and taking him to places so he’s not always stuck at home.  The little things and big things I do for Brock. Because I love him. I’ll do things that is out of my way for him…

So if he was a REAL friend to at least Brock, he wouldn’t have said that shit. It’s egging on our situation right now. Brock and I obviously have problems, you don’t have to add to it.  You want to help him out, shut your mouth. Keep your thoughts to yourself especially biased ones. Like how my gf says it “joke or not every little thing is being absorbed right now.”