So let us talk about relationships. Or at least my relationships with people.

I feel like this year is where a lot of relationships have developed and also a few that has started over. I’ve just came to realize that. Last year was a pretty rough year, and also the year before that where mainly my relationships with people were affected.

My relationship with my lover has developed this past year. He’s a patient fellow which makes things a whole lot easier. The experiences that we went through together has brought us closer than before. I’m really happy with him. We have our ups and downs like any couples, it doesn’t take us that long to finally make up and kiss On my part, I’m more of a pain in the ass than he is. Things get to me more than it gets to him. But I’m still here.

My relationship with my lover’s family is also developing. I’m pretty comfortable with them unless I have to meet new ones in great big packs. I always enjoy my time with them and I also feel welcomed by them.

There’s also one person I can’t forget. Whenever I need someone to talk to, I could always turn to this certain friend for advice. Since he’s older, he’s had experiences that I feel I could learn from. But he’s there to listen and to give honest judgments.  But he’s also an awesome person to hang out with. There’s not one boring moment whenever we hang out or talk.

I’ve recently started my friendship over with someone who I considered a sister. We’ve been through a lot but at one point, we thought it was the end. But script has flipped. Things were mentioned. Forgiveness wanted.  A friendship being mended. We want to gain each other’s trust and be at that point where we called each other sister.

There’s only a few people who knows what I’ve been through 2 years ago. I still haven’t fully recovered because things changed in a way I never wanted it to. I felt like I could never trust family again. Especially a certain uncle who I trusted so much and was closer to than any of my other relatives, only because I was at his house like almost every weekend before. Or him and the kids coming over. I thought I’d never want to talk to him again. But my mind changed. I don’t want to leave my doors closed, so here I am with an open heart. I’ve talked to him recently through Facebook. It started off as him adding me as his friend.. there’s a baby step, which tells me he hasn’t completely forgotten me. He left me a comment asking how I am, where am I starting school, and invited me to his Halloween party. And most importantly, asked how my parents are doing.  I recently had a conversation with him. We’re both taking little steps at a time…definitely starting over. I hope things will change to the way he and I want it..but it will take some time to get there. But as long as we get there.. that’s all that matters.

I hope this year, is a good year. So far it has been. . .

It’s 7:05AM. I’m really tired. I didn’t get that much sleep last night. Too much things going on in my head which makes my eyes want to stay open. I don’t know how I’m feeling this morning. I guess you could say mixed emotions. I am confused. I don’t know what to do. I’m really just waiting for this week to end. I want to kick back and relax. I haven’t done that in a while. I’m always doing things especially this week that school started. I wore my self down Monday and Tuesday to the point where it was hard for me to even function at work. Wednesday I thought would be my chill day with sweetie as usual where I could relax, take a time off from my busy life of school and work and be with him. Of course, that doesn’t happen.

So today is Thursday, another busy day. I have school from 8AM to 2PM. I have to walk to the auto shop after school to pick up my car. Then I’ll go and pick up my cousin Jan, freshen up at my house, pick up my cousin Christian, then head to the volleyball game where my sweetie coaches. Then meet up with Mel and Aizzy to purchase tickets for Halloween Horror Nights for this Saturday. I don’t even know if I want to go anymore…

Anyways, Friday NOW is what I’ll be looking forward to most of the time. It’s my bowling league but I have a lot of friends there that are fun to be around. And after that we usually chill at a coffee shop or boba place and talk.

I’ll be heading to school now. Have a nice day everyone. Ciao.

“Maybe you’re just too scared that someone might actually want to be with you…Because then you wouldn’t be able to hide behind your books, or your frickin’ telescope, or your faith. No, no, you know the real reason why you’re scared? It’s cause you wanna be with me too. ” - Langdon from A Walk to Remember

I remember that night. We’re laying down on the couch together. You were holding me in your arms where security and warmth surrounded me. You watched one of my favorite movies with me. One of the movies that I watch over and over again. And when we both heard those words come from Langdon’s mouth, you said to me “that sounds like a person I know.” I admit, I was scared. I was afraid of falling in love again, especially to someone I haven’t known for that long. You didn’t know me that well, my life, my history, what I wanted in life. All you knew of me was that girl who likes bowling, who is sweet, nice, and loves having fun. And I wonder why? Why me? And I thought it was too soon. I broke up with someone who I thought I’d be with for a long time. But I only found that he wasn’t for me. He couldn’t handle the way I was and it made me unhappy…

…But then I got to know you. We have common grounds which makes our evolving relationship easier. But there was more to it than common grounds. You’re a fun guy, a goof ball, a kid at heart (which I totally love), you have goals in life that you’re working to achieve, and patient. We were totally compatible, everyone saw it. We clicked like no other. It totally surprised me. Gradually my fear of being with someone disappeared because I fell in love with you.

So it’s been a year and a day, and I still get the tingles in my tummy when I get to see you.