Ok, so I haven’t blogged in over a month. I guess right now I just feel like venting. So the top most thing that is on my mind is family. Not mine, my lover’s. Could I tell you, he has a big ass family to the point where I tend to get overwhelmed when I meet them in packs. But I really admire his family because they are really close to where it amazes me. His aunt passed away last night, which breaks my heart because it’s another loss for this summer to him and his family. At times like this, I see his family come together in prayer with a strong heart.

In July his other aunt passed away, I went to her house everyday for a week after she passed away to prayer with his family. The first night I came home, I cried to my mom because I don’t know what it feels like to have family like that because they pretty much disowned us 2 years ago when my grandma died. I think that was the hardest death for me to go through because of what happened after her death. I haven’t fully moved on from it yet.

Family is suppose to be there for you, for you to count on in times of need. I see that in his, I want that in mine.

Okay, summer is almost done. Well it technically ends on Labor Day or the after. Today was the first time I went to the beach this summer. I had a blast boogie boarding with my good friend, Melinda. But we were pretty bummed out that our lovers couldn’t go with us because of work. I haven’t had a beach day with my lover ever. So that’s why I was bummed. But overall I had an awesome time. It could have been a tad better if it wasn’t for someone leaving her child for me and mel to watch. Oh well. I’m pretty tired. I’ve had an mentally exhausting week because I miss the boyfriend. We don’t spend a lot of one on one time with each other. He has a lot of responsibilities: 2 jobs and school is starting this week. I told him that having a relationship is also a responsibility that really needs to be taken care of. He needs to learn how to balance all of that at once. He’s tiring himself out which doesn’t help so much…

I’m the type of girlfriend who doesn’t ask for much in return. Except for a day or two out of the week just us hanging out. I don’t ask him to buy stuff for me because I’m not high maintenance. And I don’t want to be.

Our one year is coming up and he is planning to buy me an electronic book. Expensive can I tell you. I’m thinking about telling him that he doesn’t have to buy me one since it costs so much and just to save that money for a rainy day for himself. All I want for our one year is just to have a nice outing that ends with a nice dinner (which doesn’t have to be all high end).

Anyways, I’m getting a bit tired. I’m gonna go watch Honey and make myself all jealous because my lover thinks that Jessica Alba is hotter than me. Ha. Whatever. I know lot of male actors who are so fucking hot..

I watched a Cinderella Story earlier at Melinda’s house and drooled over Chad Michael Murray in front of the lover.