“There’s more to life than what we see” - Unknown

What does that mean to you? It’s not all about the money, the big house, the car, the parties that makes my life worth living. It’s all about the love I have that I can give to others without nothing in return (but I have to admit, knowing that someone loves me makes my life even better). It’s about the passion I feel for something and sharing it with others. The fact that I have a positive impact on people’s life makes my life even more worthwhile. I have one shot at life. And I want to make sure I live it the way I should be living it. By absorbing my experiences that I have gone through and learning from it makes me a better and stronger person. How you choose to live is the way you define your life. I want to define it in a way where I can look back and just smile.

I have no idea. Maybe you can say mini depression mode. I don’t know. I’m just haven’t been in my little happy mode that I’m usually in. I DON’T fucking KNOW. For some reason the smallest things are starting to irritate me. That’s not like me. I’ll be okay. I know I will. Just I don’t feel okay right now. And I can’t really explain why. So whatever. Maybe I should sleep. Sleep is always good. But I never get the sleep that I want, you know, the kind of sleep where no one wakes you up. You wake up by yourself… THAT NEVER FUCKING HAPPENS. . . even on the weekends.

Anyways, it’s almost 1AM. I have work at 10. My sister doesn’t have school today because it’s Martin Luther King Jr day. GOOD FOR HER. I don’t have to bring her to school. Thank God. I’ll get a little bit of sleep in. Then go work and develop a major headache or build up frustration.

So I guess I’ll just end on this note. Try and just sleep it off. Wake up on the right side of bed. And go to work. Get through work without having to bash or throw out my computer. Probably go on a quick boba run and just chill. Then home to relax (which I know won’t fucking happen), so I’ll try my best to.

“No sense in being unhappy with a situation you cant change at the moment.” I hate how you are right.

You know when you were small, you’d be like “oh I can’t wait till I’m ___” (fill it in with the age or grade you want to be). For example, I was in 2nd grade and I couldn’t wait till I was in 8th grade because they are so much older and bigger and better. Right? When I got into 8th grade it was no big deal. Then it was like “I can’t wait til I’m 18.” When I turned 18, it was no big deal again. So the next big year is 21. “I can’t wait til I’m 21.” No that I’m 21, it’s nothing big. It’s just another year. All I know is that I can hit 21+ places. That the only thing thats different.

So right now its 2AM. I’m watching my Iggy, which is my iguana, walk around my room.

I think I’ll end on this note.

Goodbye.

“You are a diamond in the rough, a needle in a haystack, a graphics designer in an office.” - Trevor Caesar

I guess you can say I have my head screwed on straight. I’m pretty well off for my age I believe. I got it together. And at the same time I’m still having fun, enjoying my life.

“You got a dream, you gotta protect it. People can’t do something themselves, they wanna tell you that you can’t do it. You want something? Go get it. Period.” - Will Smith in Pursuit of Happyness

We all have dreams. I believe in turn, some of those dreams transform into goals. Either long term or short term goals, depending on when you realize its a goal and not a dream. To me dreams are the impossible. Or you may think it’s impossible. But once you feel that it’s possible to achieve something where you have to work for it, it’s a goal.

So after my league, my friends and I go out for boba (a kind of drink) like how we usually do on friday nights. We are sitting there talking. We ended up partly talking about what will I be doing in the future. So I laid out my plans, get my RN license, then get my BSN, while also doing web and graphics design on the side. I didn’t know I can just go straight into getting my BSN. And when I thought I had everything together, or knew my direction completely, I felt I was pushed off path since I now know I don’t need to do RN then BSN. Great. Just great.